posted on: Wednesday, August 6, 2014
It's been one week since I've started waking up in Hawaii.
And it feels good.
It feels right.
Moving to Hawaii was a long process. From last year when Christian applied for the job to waiting, negotiating with my job, packing, crossing off things in our endless to-do list, topped with flight drama. We prayed a lot during the whole process. I begged Heavenly father to help Christian get the job and then I begged him to help me keep my job. Even when those two things were set and I knew we were moving, emotionally it was still hard to let go.
Change is hard for me, it requires me to relinquish control, to live in a messy house full of boxes of things we own and use regularly and things we don't use regularly. It makes me feel very vulnerable. It makes me feel like a hoarder. It takes up a lot of my time and energy. It's way more comfortable to just stay put.
But as I watched my stuff being packed into the crate, our furniture being taken apart, our home that we earnestly put together and decorated and made it our own, being disassembled, I felt happy. It was not a feeling I was expecting at all. South San Francisco never felt like our community. It was a fine place for the eight months we lived there but it was never really where we were going to put down roots.
Leaving my office and saying bye to my co-workers was hard. I'm a social creature, I like working with people, and I like my co-workers a lot. Luckily I work an online job so I still feel connected to people at work. It's not the same of course, but it's a worthwhile trade. Now I work from 6:00am-2:00pm Hawaii time. Yesterday, for example, I picked up Enzo from school then took the kids to get some shave ice, and we still had time to go to the beach, have dinner, help them with homework, spend one-on-one time with them (I'm militant about this), read a chapter of Little House on the Prairie, and even squeeze in a short family home evening. This schedule is golden!
This last week has been fun. We've gone to the beach, hung out with cousins and friends, shared meals, made new friends, we even got to go on a date, a triple date with our friends.
More than anything though this last week has felt right. All along I knew that the move was right but there was still this feeling of not wanting to let go, of feeling scared, of doubting. But now the feeling is just peace. We are where we should be. School, preschool, babysitting, has all worked out. Christian is in his element, Enzo is thrilled, Maria walks by herself to the neighbor's house to play with kittens, Eliza likes interchanging between her swimsuit and birthdaysuit, and I'm feeling happy, safe, and excited for the future.
posted on: Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Flat bread pizza dinners.
Veggies from our garden.
Comic book lovin' Maria.
posted on: Monday, June 30, 2014
And there was the whole issue with my job. I like my job a lot and I don't know if this is any news to you but Anthropology professors aren't necessarily rich. Hawaii is expensive and it would be much more doable to move if I could keep my job somehow. Suffice to say everything worked out. It's kind of crazy because we would stay up and talk about all the different scenarios, draw up imaginary budgets, talk about if this or that happened, and in the end it's all working out.
Christian and I share similar philosophies which is to enjoy the process, enjoy where we are at with what we have, and not put off being happy for the future. You know how some people won't put up pictures on their walls because it's just a rental? Well I'm the kind of person that's constantly decorating and trying to make the place we live in as "us" as possible. This, here, now, is our home, where my kids are making childhood memories, where Christian and I are growing old(er) together. We try to live in the present. But living in the present, other than just overcoming the daily grind, is hard when you have this looming possibility of a big move over your head.
It's nice to now know what we'll be doing. Christian will be teaching. I'll be working remote. We'll live with Christian's mom until we can find a house. Enzo will start third grade in Hawaii. The girls will have our wonderful friend Tailee as their nanny.
We'll have to start packing soon. Maybe because I like seeing my house complete (again, pictures on the wall) or because it's just a crappy process no matter how you look at it, packing is in my top ten list of least favorite things to do.
After the 4th of July weekend we'll pack, but for now I'm living in the present enjoying:
The weather. Picnics.
+ Maria who is almost done with her reading lesson book
+ Enzo who is on vacation and loves being home and has become really helpful cleaning and watching Eliza when I need help
+ Having Christian's cousin Noelle living with us
+ Harry Potter. I am late to jump on this bandwagon but have recently started listening to the Harry Potter books and not only am I enjoying the stories I'm also enjoying the animated narration.
+ Loot from our garden
+ The World Cup! Go Brazil! I work in a fun office where watching the games is totally o.k. We have a big screen set up in the kitchen and we've had lunches from around the world to celebrate the different teams. When I can't watch I listen to the games. Wishing desperately I could be in Brazil but feeling ok about being here, now.